One of the biggest challenges in any diagnosis, and treatment journey, is finding positivity during very worrying and difficult times.

It’s easy to be afraid and get stuck in a negative spiral. Being positive and thinking positively can help you cope with cancer, but it is natural to also feel upset and frightened sometimes. People with cancer are often encouraged to be positive. But it’s not always easy. It’s important to acknowledge there will be some very difficult days and allow ourselves to feel and express emotion.

If positivity doesn't feel right for you, or doesn't feel right in a specific situation, or on any given day, that's okay. Acknowledge how you’re feeling, allow it to be, and then think about some actions you might take to feel differently.

Recently, in the Metavivor group page, a thread began with one member asking others how they stay positive. People were then invited to post so we could create a ‘How to stay positive’ thread in the Advanced Breast Cancer section of the BCAC website.
The following are some ideas from our BCAC Metavivors (click here to learn more about this group), in their own words (names withheld). These are their experiences and things they have found to be really helpful for positivity and wellbeing. They really hope that they will be helpful in some way for you too, or people you love.

  • I like to knit. I knit jerseys, jumpers and hats for my grandchildren. I also knit socks. I’m more than a bit addicted to it. I knit them for myself, and any of my children who appreciate them.
  • I craft – I have taken up spinning wool into yarn. It takes a lot of concentration - but oh so rewarding.
  • I garden - I just love growing food. Also means my food budget goes further.
  • Find things good in life that bring you joy - the birdsong, music and dance, reading and Netflix and getting dressed up.
  • I started drawing during my first chemo, and have been drawing ever since. Taking classes and enjoying social time with others in a positive environment.
  • I’m making art and also creating craft things that I gift to my loved ones (pottery, embroidery, knitting, quilts, sewing things for my granddaughter - just made her some fairy wings). It feels like they are coming from my very soul and are part of the legacy I’ll be leaving behind. So, a real mix of art and practical things that can be used.
  • I love to go out for coffee / brunch with special friends.
  • I try to keep my world light - get out of my comfort zone now and again.
  • I think about the wonderful opportunities I have had with trips and experiences - things the little mouse in the corner at school would never dream she would do.
  • I try and turn negatives to positives and surround myself with positive people.
  • Oddly for first time in my life I have started gaming and talk to people all over the world. Not something I ever saw myself doing but it’s an interesting way to connect with people.
  • I am an avid plant mum. Caring for them takes time and it’s really calming and therapeutic. Looking at them fills me with a sense of wellbeing. Hanging with my daughter. She is my ever present “why” and my reason for fighting. Thinking of all the things we’re GOING to do when she’s older, because I’m still going to be here!!!
  • I try to get out every day for a walk even the days I’m spinning out of control I tell myself “just one foot in front of the other you got this”.
  • To keep positive I meditate daily, I use mindfulness techniques also which have really helped. Yoga is fantastic for calming too. My kids help me stay positive, I look at them and they fill me with love and a sense of purpose. Getting some daily sun helps along with exercise usually walking in nature is so helpful also to calm anxiety and nerves.
  • Podcasts. Pinc and Steel physiotherapy and special Pilates classes.
  • Acupuncture really helps with side effects.
  • Reiki. Hypnotherapy / NLP is incredible (my therapist has given me 2 recordings to meditate to daily, since then I have stopped thinking about my diagnosis)
  • Pets! I love my fur babies.
  • Going to the gym. Even with good days and bad days, always feel better after exercise plus it means seeing people.
  • Watching comedies. A good laugh is always good.
  • Going for walks or reading books in the sun. Fresh air and sunshine works wonders.
  • My Will and EPOA (finance and health) are done. It is the other stuff such as passwords, user names, accounts, insurance policy numbers and companies, - those type of things. It has really played on my mind that I haven’t put all of this information somewhere that is easily accessible for my family. As soon as I feel like I can concentrate properly, I am going to put all of this information together so if I do get sick again I don’t stress about it.
  • Jigsaw puzzles.

You’ll note there are some common themes: activity, connection, nature, family/whanau, gratitude, exercise, mindfulness, self compassion, distraction. All of these are important components of health and wellbeing.

Another important factor for wellbeing and positivity is spirituality, in whatever form that takes for you.

For more ideas on how to manage challenging emotions, and finding positivity through your journey, check out our emotional support pages for everyone here and especially for advanced breast cancer here. For professional help, check out our page on psychological support and counselling here.